We don't have to wait for her to answer. Her reply is obvious.
Tips, opportunities to make money：What are the software downloads of news making money? “No way.”
“In that case, tell me why it’s worthwhile for me to bet on this.”
Horikita probably doesn’t understand why I’m doing this. She probably thinks that it doesn’t matter, and I shouldn’t join the bet and risk dropping out. She didn’t say a word in front of Kushida, but her gaze did. I’m sorry, but I can’t listen to your request, because I’ve got the rare opportunity to expose Kushida Kikyō’s past.
“Ayanokōji-kun, is there anything that you’re good at that you can’t risk losing to anyone?”
Tips, opportunities to make money：Will online gambling make money be caught? “I’m only as capable as anyone else, a jack-of-all-trades but master of none. If I had to choose something I excel at, I guess I run a little fast.”
“Then I wonder if you can understand. Don’t you think that the best moment is when you feel the value of yourself that others can’t have? It’s like scoring the highest on a test or getting first place in a race, you get the limelight. Aren’t there those moments where someone gives you a look that says: ‘so powerful, so cool, so cute’?”
Of course I know that. People are creatures who desire to be praised. No one hates being praised or respected by friends or family, and working hard to be praised is a justifiable motive. This is commonly known as ‘the desire for approval’, which is a basic and indispensable part of human society.
“I think I’m probably more dependent on that kind of thing than the average person. I really want to show off. I can’t help that I want to stand out; want to be praised. When these feelings are finally validated, I truly feel how valuable I am, and how wonderful it is to be me. But I know my limits. I know that no matter how hard I try, I can’t be number one in schoolwork or sports. Being in second or third place can’t possibly satisfy my desire, so I thought: ‘Then I’ll do something that no one else can imitate’. I found that I can become number one as long as I’m more gentle and more intimate than anyone else.”
Tips, opportunities to make money：How home improvement designers make money online So this is the source of Kushida’s gentleness? However, If someone doesn’t have two-faces, they give a better impression than someone who brags about being a good person. They’re more honest than a liar who pretends to be a gentle person.
Of course, what Kushida does is not as simple as she’s saying. Because even if you want to be gentle, you can’t just get along with everyone.
“Thanks to this, I was able to become popular. Someone who’s liked by both boys and girls. I was relied on, and I felt the pleasure of being trusted. Elementary and middle school were fun……”
“Isn’t it painful to keep doing things you don’t want to do? If it were me, I think my heart wouldn’t be able to keep up, and end up breaking down.”
It’s understandable that she would ask this. Kushida has been constantly doing things that are often impossible to do.
“It’s painful. Of course I’m suffering. Every day I accumulate so much stress that I feel like I’m going to go bald. I’ve pulled out my hair and vomited all because of the anxiety. But I can’t let anyone see this side of me in order to maintain my ‘gentle side’. So I’ve endured and endured and constantly endured. But my heart has reached its limit. It was impossible to let it continue accumulating.”
I can speculate that Kushida’s anxiety has been constantly under tremendous pressure.
However, how has she been able to sustain this until now?